Nothing Matters
by SilenceShouting
Summary: Nothing matters without my brother... Ed POV this was a challenge, accidentally posted twice


**Look, I wrote another FMA one-shot... So shoot me. For all who ask, it's in Ed's POV and this is a challenge to the lovely BlueandOrangeRoses and SenseMarauder. They claim that they are the depression and horror authors, and that challenged me. I LOVe A CHALLENGE. **

**This was also because i was trying to get out of my writer's block (author's block?), and so... I think i did very well. So expect more soon! ^^**

**So, here we are. I hope they check this out, because I'm fairly happy with it. So... Yeah. And NO it is NOT EdxAl (incest, ew!), but the two brothers love each other very much, so I tried hard to portray that. Enjoy. **

We stood at a standstill, just staring at eachother, seemingly frozen in time. There was no way, no way… We'd just gotten our bodies back. I'd barely had enough time to enjoy seeing my little brother's face again. He'd barely gotten time to enjoy food again. He hadn't even had time to try Winry's apple pie, so there was no way!

I stared at the Chimera before me. What was this, another one of the Sewing Life Alchemist's tricks? "A-Al?" I asked. Surely it wasn't true. Surely they were lying! The Chimera—part dog, part human, looked at me with its huge yellow eyes. "Bruh… thur." It forced itself to say. I fell to my knees. No. No. Al couldn't be… I wrapped my arms around the Chimera, sobbing. "I'm sorry, Al. I'm so, so sorry!"

"Bruh… thur." Al said again. I straightened up and looked at him. For a while, we sat there like that, again, his mouth moving and trying to form words, but saying nothing. Then. "Bruh… thur… I want… to… die."

"What?" I shouted. "No! No, don't say that! It'll be alright, Al, just wait! We can fix this!"

"Nuh. I want… to… die." Al said, looking up at me, with his gold eyes, Al's eyes.

Of course, we both knew this was impossible. It was possible to get our old bodies back because they still existed, but now Al's body and soul had been transmutated to each other. Al could never be healed. So of course, he was willing to die. No. I didn't want him to die. He was my brother, my only brother! I couldn't loose him!

"Bruh… thur?" Al said, coming up to me. Then. _It would be merciful. _That, in itself, I knew. _If I don't kill Al now, he'll be expirimented on. Al doesn't deserve that. So… _Slowly, I pulled out my gun.

Yeah, I know it's weird for me, the Fullmetal Alchemist, to have a gun, but we'd been setting off on a dangerous mission, and Hawkeye insisted that I take one, just incase my alchemy fails. I pointed the gun at my little (Chimera!) brother, tears still flowing down my cheek. I pulled my head away and looked to the other side, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping against hope that this was a dream, and that the gun wouldn't hurt the only family I had left.

I prayed, and pulled the trigger.

I died along with my brother.

It's been months since Al died. Or maybe years, or maybe weeks. I don't know. Time doesn't matter to me anymore. Nothing matters anymore.

I was relieved from the military and sent to Risenbool. I've been here since Al's death, and I know I scare Winry. She doesn't dare come near me, but I can hear her crying in the night.

To be honest, I know that they're trying to help me. But I also know it'll never work. I cared for my brother more than anyone else. And now, now, he's dead.

I killed him.

Every time I close my eyes, I see my brother, as a Chimera. I see his blood, drenching me, as I hold his dead body in my arms, and the blood mixes with salty tears.

Nothing matters.

I go to visit Al's grave a lot. I considered trying to transmute Al back to live. But it's futile.

I know I'm too weak. I always was, and always will be. I am weak. But still… I sit with Al and talk to him a lot. I don't let him get lonely.

One day, I go to visit him. It's dark out, but since his death, it always has been. I don't care if it's day or night.

Nothing matters.

I still have the gun Hawkeye gave me. Stupid woman, didn't she think to take it back? So. It wouldn't matter if she did.

I sit in front of his grave for a little while, just sit. Then, I speak. "Al?" I ask.

Then, I slowly raise the gun, and point it at my temple.

"I want to die, too."

I pull the trigger.

**So? What do you think? Tell me in the comments. (For once, I thought of an FMA story on my own) Oh, and if this was on Horselvr4ever123's account, Im very sorry. I haven't checked out her challenge corner in a while.  
**


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